Not all technological advances tell us things we like knowing. A new calculator program came with my m505, and it offers a blisteringly easy way to calculate the difference between two dates. Being in a whimsical, imprudent mood, I plugged in the numbers, and today was the 699th consecutive day since I've known the friendly company of a woman in my bed.
Tomorrow will make 700 contiguous days of no nookie, with no concrete prospects in evidence. Certainly this is 100% my fault (I've hardly been burning up the dating scene), but it's a sobering statistic nonetheless. I'm unsure whether to give myself a stout pat on the back for my obvious iron will and impregnable self-control, or to collapse whimpering in a corner.
Wait a minute, strike that; I'm completely sure of what to do. I'm sure I'll be out of my corner in time to go to work tomorrow.
If not, send a search party, preferably with a charitably-minded female in attendance.
Postscript. I'm certain there are people out there who will now regale me with tales of their four- and even five-digit dry spells. I sympathize, but 700 is my number, and I reserve the right to mourn in my own way. :-p