Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Good God, a Non-beer Post!

Yep, someone's actually managed to derail my train of thought. :-)

In this case it's sugarmama, with her musings about what's necessary to keep her happy while dating. Good for her - I've bumped into many, many (many) women (and men, for that matter) who haven't bothered to articulate their wants/needs nearly so well.

I did want to chime in a bit, though, on the whole sex side of things (fair warning: the next bit might as well be marked PG-13). Sugarmama finishes with the very typically female comment, "i can live with being single until one man finds the whole of me more enticing than merely having meaningless sex with me." Understood, and in terms of a fledgling, not-quite-past-'hey-you're-cool' kind of relationship, entirely reasonable and prudent.

However, when things get to the serious-exclusivity stage, there's an unfortunate difference between the male and female of the species that bears highlighting here: whereas females tend to view sex (and general sexuality in the relationship, not just coitus) in a barometer-of-the-relationship, extracurricular kind of way, males tend to see sex as one of the best, most pure, most direct ways of expressing affection and love.

I see all sorts of women deriding men for "just wanting to get into my pants, never mind the rest of me." Assuming the guy's your main squeeze, bear in mind that being entranced with the rest of you is probably exactly why he's so hot to jump you.

All of us tend, at a knee-jerk level, to express love by making the gestures we want made back to us, regardless of the needs or wants of the 'gesturee.' The good news here for the ladies is that boffing your man occasionally is the single best way to make him feel wanted, needed and loved. The bad news for all of us is that guys usually need to be taught how best to express love in the other direction.

Anyway, end of sermon. Not that it really applies to sugarmama's situation at all. :-)

Well, Okay, a Little Beer Stuff
In learning about Finnish Sahti beer, I wound up speaking to my mom and dad last night (part of a weekly ritual we all have) and my Uncle Regem came up; he's the brother of my maternal grandmother, and is evidently well connected in Finland. I'll be contacting him about recipes and yeast in short order.


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